why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Randomize
