You just made me feel so damn special
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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