I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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