we have pet lesbian snakes
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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