its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
