Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize