I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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