Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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