I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
