Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
