I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
