and you said cock pushups were impossible
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
