I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
