I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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