I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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