just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
