I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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