Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
