spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
