Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
this hospital has no fireball
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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