I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize