why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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