Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
