i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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