my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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