mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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