Your mouth is God's brothel.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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