You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Panties = found
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
