That's intense
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
