it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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