Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
