how hairy? two words: wookie tits
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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