it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
