Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my being single is dangerous.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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