The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
