Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
