it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
