you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
