I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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