So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
A+ Viking dick
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
