remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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