Girls should come with a carfax report
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
