Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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