Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
