put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
