i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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