Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
