Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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