I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
