please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
