I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
