I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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