on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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