u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
