This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
