first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
