is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
