The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
