ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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