I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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