He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
