i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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