the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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