youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
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