Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Randomize
