I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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