Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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