oh god the rape fog is back!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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