My room smells like vodka and shame
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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