hell yes lets make some ravioli
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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